Here’s what happens when we don’t ask what we truly want.
We drift. Operating from old patterns, we do the same thing over and over without question. We disconnect. Relationships happen in the present, but we’re stuck in our heads, solving problems that don’t matter. We distract ourselves — with social media, TV, politics — anything to avoid the discomfort of disconnection.
We get discouraged. Deep down, we’re unhappy. But we don’t know what else to do. We take the victim stance. Life feels like it’s happening to us, not through us. We become susceptible to influence — comparing ourselves to others, chasing what they have, only to realize it’s not what we wanted at all.
If we want to stop drifting, we need to understand the strategy of the mind: it lives in the past and future. It cannot operate in the present moment — and it’s in the present that we actually create what we want.
Take time to dream and imagine. This taps into the creative part of your consciousness. The mind will try to pull you back into the known, into what’s “reasonable.” Don’t let it. Talk it out. Write it down. Reflect. Feel into the life you’re creating — not the one you’ve inherited.
When I meet with clients, I always start with the same question:
“What do you want to get out of today’s session?”
It’s not a trick. It’s an invitation. An anchor. A way to bring them back to themselves — to their clarity, their intention, their power.
It seems simple. But many people aren’t used to being asked this. There’s often a pause. A blank. A subtle panic. Because underneath that question is often a deeper truth:
Most people haven’t been taught — or given permission — to ask what they want.
When you do the inner work to uncover your real desires, here’s what starts to shift: You gain clarity about your motivation. You understand your purpose. You define your own values. You can assess your current reality with honesty. You develop a sense of direction. You experience a grounded, positive sense of control.
And when you show up in the present moment knowing what you want, you can be present with others. Give and serve fully. Take meaningful action. Add depth to your relationships. Be influential and creative.
The question isn’t just “What do I want?”
It’s “What part of me is doing the wanting?”
Keep asking. Keep listening. And remember: the question isn’t meant to be answered once. It’s meant to be lived.
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