How often do we concede to doing something that we really don’t want to do? How often do we then turn around and resent the person for asking us for the favor? Or blame someone else for not having enough time and energy to get done what we need to? Whether it’s something for a… Read More »
relationships
5 ways that we self sabotage
Does it seem that you seldom get what you want? Does it seem that you come second to others or their needs? Why can’t you ever seem to get a break? Or why does it seem as if “nobody understands you”? We play a key role when we aren’t getting what we want or need,… Read More »
Your partner won’t change? Here’s what might be getting in the way.
Many of us have been in a relationship that eventually begs the question of “will my partner ever change?” “What is reasonable change to ask for them to do? Is this just “who they are?” “Should I wait for them to change or should we end this?” The answer looks like this: It’s very important… Read More »
Your partner can’t read your mind. 3 things to ask yourself.
Yeah, yeah. We all know that our partners can’t read our minds. But do we really get what that means? Are you frustrated that you can’t seem to get what you need? Are you not feeling understood by your partner? Ask yourself these things: Did you actually tell your partner what you want him/her to… Read More »
What some troubled marriages are lacking
The most often heard comment in my office a few weeks into couples counseling: “I honestly thought we would come into counseling and you’d tell us that HE was the one who needed most of the work! Now I can see where my own stuff is adding to the problems we are having.” It is… Read More »
“I was weak, now I’m strong, so go sc**w yourself” A losing relationship strategy
When I posted my blog about how men in relationships and their lack of vulnerability, I promised that I would follow-up with something about women. It’s not that we need to bash men or women and our flawed relationship strategies, we just need to shed some light on why they’re dysfunctional. Let’s just call a… Read More »
The lack of vulnerability in men and how we’re playing catch up with women
We are arguably at a time of social change in history like none other. The age of women’s empowerment is increasing and has been for the last several decades. Women’s position in our society has changed drastically. Women are more self accepting and are more accepted in various arenas, such as the workforce, than ever…. Read More »
Indecisiveness and why making the RIGHT decision is overrated
One of the common themes with my clients that I see is their consistent questioning and doubting of themselves when it comes to making decisions. Decisions with raising kids, decisions with career choices, decisions with relationships, and especially ending relationships. “Will I make the right decision? Will it all work out? Will it happen… Read More »
Your “soul mate” isn’t “perfect” for a reason
Relationships are challenging at times, especially as we grow as adults. Relationships go through phases and stages. Ideally, we would like to choose a partner that moves through the growth of the relationship with us. We start from the “honeymoon” period where each partner presents him and herself as the ideal mate. We’re kind of… Read More »
It’s not you, it’s me
I found this very accurate. Going inward is hard work but the payoff is well worth it. I guess when you meet your “soulmate” that’s pretty much their job. Making you face yourself for your own growth. From Ram Dass: “What you have found from your past relationships is that what you are attracted to in a person isn’t… Read More »