Note: This is a shame free, non “down with the patriarchy” post. But I am going to briefly talk about how to stay away from being a jerk to the people you love the most. Maybe more specifically, how to be more kind to your spouse. This is where most people struggle. Men, women, it doesn’t matter. So why are we at times unfair and unkind to those closest to us? It’s a safety factor. We don’t think they’re going anywhere and they’ll put up with us. We’ve gotten to the point where we take advantage of that closeness we’ve built up. Or we simply have turned into our parents. It happens. But again, this isn’t to shame you. This is a wake up call.
It’s easy to let our mood slip around our spouse. Of course we end up paying the price. Ever wonder why your wife doesn’t feel like being intimate with you? Yeah, your tone and the way you talked to her earlier, or lately, have a lot to do with that. Adding to the cycle of stress we lash out at those we love. Taking advantage of how much they love us. Don’t fall into this habit.
DON’T become your dad, or your mom. Take a breath. Think about what you’re about to say. Is it going to be helpful or harmful? Feel into your body. What’s bothering you? Use your words (like we tell our kids) and ask for what you need. With respect. You appreciate it when your spouse does this for you. Like I mentioned in previous emails, state your feelings and don’t project or blame your partner. Feelings are feelings. You can’t control that. But you can control how you act.
You can do this! Nurture that marriage or close relationship. You deserve it.
Hey, I’m putting together some men’s groups for the fall. Small groups of men (5 people or so) We’re going to be helping each other be better people, husbands, fathers, and professionals. Interested? Send me an email. Or keep an eye on more details as fall gets closer.
Interested in setting up an appointment or learning more about the men’s groups I’m mentioning? Contact me at john@lifemadeconscious.com Learn more about everything I offer at www.lifemadeconscious.com
I’ll talk to you next week. John
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