Feelings. What’s the point?

Therapeutically speaking, nothing hits home like the question “So what’s the point of talking about our emotions?”  Obviously, they’re uncomfortable.  They cause us to feel some level of pain and can be tied to wounding, past memories, or even trauma.  But this question is at the heart of any self growth process.  Why would we want to go into uncomfortable feelings or memories?  What’s the point?

Who doesn’t want to feel good?  Who would rather feel pain?  Of course.  Nobody.  That’s part of our problem.  We tend to live only in the moment from that perspective.  But we also know that when we lean into something difficult there’s a good chance there’s a potentially big and positive payoff.

So what do we usually choose?  We go for the altered state that allows us to escape the difficult feeling or emotion.  Staying busy, working too much, TV, internet, alcohol, too much exercise, too much sex, anything to control and manage our state.  In these states of being we can tend to find relief or enjoyment.   They work…until they don’t.

We can alter our states of being for years or decades.  We can avoid feelings for that long.  But the fear that feelings “won’t end” or “don’t have a purpose” isn’t true.  You might even cry when you feel something you’ve been avoiding.  But that will end too.  And each time you visit that feeling or emotion, it gets easier.  Staying in a perpetual state of avoidance is misery.

These feelings are important because they shape us.  They become part of who we are and our human experience.  They are teachers.  On the other side of this resistance and fear is freedom.