“Embrace the suck!” We used to say that to each other in the Army during miserable all day training exercises. These training excursions were always accompanied by temps in the 30’s and 40’s and steady perpetual rain. Carrying heavy loads of equipment while playing war games in the cold rain actually became funny to us. No, it was hilarious. Beyond absurd. Obviously, we forced ourselves into another state of mind. It was a state of acceptance. It was wrapped in crude humor and sarcasm, but it was acceptance nonetheless.
The closer we got to the discomfort, the less control it had on us. We were free. Free to crack jokes, laugh, tear down walls. We really had no choice. It was either be miserable fighting the inevitable, or laugh and cut loose while dealing with the inevitable.
It’s interesting when I notice just how much time and energy we seem to spend trying to be happy. Trying to make it look like things are always “ok”. Trying to maintain control and not break. I’ve enjoyed reading several blogs in the past few days that have talked about being alright with allowing our dark to come into the light more in our lives.
What happens if we allow some more dark to come through? What if people knew that we aren’t always ok all of the time? What if happy isn’t our default after all? What if we allow the hard times to do what they do and not try and spend so much energy denying the inevitable?
Honesty is a virtue. People value it. That and candor. We’d be foolish to think that others don’t value those things when we let it come through in ourselves.
Humility;embracing the good and the bad which dwells within us
This is certainly something we all struggle with. We are not supposed to admit weakness; we are obligated to smile, grin and bear it. “Fake it till you make it” cones to mind.
And yet, I have experienced the greatest mental anguish when I tried to swallow it all, rather than admitting to the darkness, the pain, the dirt.
And conversely, have experienced release, clarity and support when openly admitting defeat. People love honesty. Even more so, they love vulnerability.
In a polar world it really is a challenge. Thanks for reading!
Good point. Brene Brown proposes that vulnerability is at the threshold to all change and growth. She’s right.
I didn’t realize it was THE Zack Avery! Thanks for reading, friend!
“What if happy isn’t our default after all?” Love that; these are wise words. It’s true, it is in being vulnerable and honest with our difficulties, suffering, and brokenness that we are united with everyone else around us.
Agreed! There is nothing in the human experience that should be discarded.