Dealing With What Is

A couple of weekends ago I hosted the yearly men’s group retreat. We got a lodge in central Ohio for the Friday to Sunday. This is a group of guys that have known each other for several years now through the group and have become very close. It was a great weekend. We had time to talk, process what was going on with everyone, the weather was fantastic. It was all really nice. There was only one problem.

Talking through problems and personal pain is hard. These guys have put in the work. And they have some really tough things going on in their lives. Not everything is ok. Not everything is meant to be ok. As you know, life is hard. But I think the thing that we came to is that whatever we’re dealing with we need to deal with it. Recognizing what we’re feeling matters. 

Watching this group lean on each other helped me as much as I might have been helping them. We all learn from each other. Words don’t do justice to what we feel when we’re around other people that let us be what we need to be in the moment.

I learned a lot that weekend. Or maybe it was a firm reminder of the importance of being in our humanity. Letting the people we love be what they need to be in the moment is the beginning of healing. A process. Even though much of the time things just aren’t ok. And that, in itself, is ok.

I hope each and every one of you has a person or a group of people that you can be what you need to be with. It’s that important.

I’m very grateful for this group of men. Thank you. You know who you are.

To all of you: Have a great week.