The balance we seek in life is within us. Not others. To be “in balance” we are in a place where we can allow our feelings to be part of us. This only happens when we are led by our rational logical mind. The rational logical mind, or the “functional adult”, is the part of… Read More »
Self help
Staying Informed vs. Staying Sane
Things are obviously heavy and tense right now. Are you feeling it too? If so, you aren’t alone. Politics, social issues, the ongoing virus situation. It’s a lot. When is it too much to consistently remain informed? Or better yet, when was the last time you had fun, had a good laugh, or enjoyed yourself… Read More »
Letting Go
Last week I talked about picking battles. When to engage and when to let go.So what about letting go? What’s the good in letting go? Reduced stress.Lower blood pressure.Reduced depression.Reduced anxiety.Reduced fear. More peace for you.More clarity.Less brain fog.Better relationships.More productivity.More fun.More joy. All it takes is a simple mantra when you’re struggling. “At this moment… Read More »
Yes, You’ve Turned Into Your Parents
Let’s get this out of the way. My parents were kids once too. So were yours. And they had parents. The reason we turn into our parents (for good and bad) is that we had to adapt our relational behaviors to meet our needs as children. Love, acceptance, affirmation, guidance, physical affection. We need it…. Read More »
Stop Being an A-hole to the People You Love
Note: This is a shame free, non “down with the patriarchy” post. But I am going to briefly talk about how to stay away from being a jerk to the people you love the most. Maybe more specifically, how to be more kind to your spouse. This is where most people struggle. Men, women, it… Read More »
How are you? (No, really…how are you?)
Mike (a client of mine, not his real name) comes into my office. I can see he’s not doing well. I ask him what I ask everyone when I see him. “How’ve you been?” He barely makes eye contact. Something is obviously bothering him. “No”, I say, “how ARE YOU doing?” He gets emotional as… Read More »
The benefit of being “inauthentic”
You’ve probably heard this before. Fake it till you make it. But what does it mean? Should I pretend to like doing something that I don’t really like for the sake of doing it? How long do I have to fake it? Will I ever not have to fake it? Does this make me “unauthentic”?… Read More »
Why Don’t Men Talk About Their Depression?
We know men experience depression. We know that it’s one of the most common mental health issues men experience. According to research data from the American Psychological Association, around 30% of men have experienced at least one significant episode of depression in their lives. I would argue that number is even higher given that many… Read More »
Feelings. What’s the point?
Therapeutically speaking, nothing hits home like the question “So what’s the point of talking about our emotions?” Obviously, they’re uncomfortable. They cause us to feel some level of pain and can be tied to wounding, past memories, or even trauma. But this question is at the heart of any self growth process. Why would we… Read More »
Will I Ever Get Better?
Who hasn’t been disappointed in the lack of progress? Who hasn’t wondered if things will ever turn around for them? Of course we know that feeling frustration about things feeling stagnated is a part of life. One step forward, two steps back? Maybe. Maybe not. One of the most common things I hear from clients… Read More »