A couple that’s been coming to see me for couples counseling for a few weeks has an on-going problem. Like many couples with marital issues, Jenn and Kyle have communication issues. Their particular issue is that they don’t know how to express their anger with one another without being passive aggressive. They’re unable to effectively… Read More »
Communication and Relationships
How to be ok with not getting the last word
It feels really good to be “right”. To be able to win that argument and get that last word in. You have just spent a tremendous amount of energy in arguing with your partner, or whoever it might be. The last thing you want to do is to let go, stop, and not “win”. So… Read More »
10 common misconceptions about marriage
Marriage is an awesome place of commitment, growth, and everything else in between. There’s plenty of upside to it but it also comes with some myths and misconceptions. There can be a tremendous amount of pressure, and false obligations that surround our perception of marriage. Both coming from in the marriage from the spouses and… Read More »
Redefining masculinity by what it is. Not what it isn’t.
A couple of years ago I attended a workshop on relationship counseling. The room was packed with therapists looking to hear an esteemed author give his take on how to help couples reconcile their relational struggles. The ratio of women therapists to male therapists in the audience was about 80 to 20, women to men…. Read More »
Saving a marriage from the shame of infidelity (featured in the Good Men Project)
My article featured in The Good Men Project. You can read the original post here.
Kids, work, and no time for a marriage. 5 tips to change it.
I didn’t feel old when I got married. I didn’t feel old when I turned 35. I didn’t feel old when my wife and I had our first daughter. In April we had our second daughter. Now I’m feeling it. The child coverage in the house has gone from “double team” to “man to man”…. Read More »
What is the difference in being assertive vs. being aggressive?
Have you ever been told “you need to be more assertive?” But what does that mean? How do you know if in your attempt to be more assertive, you won’t be coming across to people as aggressive? Being assertive is necessary to get what you want and need. But if you’re worried about how you’ll… Read More »
“My husband is depressed” What you can do about it
Have you been thinking “my husband is depressed” but aren’t sure what to do? I read a book 3 years ago that changed how I approached counseling. It’s called “I Don’t Want to Talk About It” by Terry Real. In the book, Terry writes about men and depression and the cycle of shame that comes… Read More »
Why are relationship struggles so hard to change?
When couples come to their first session for couples counseling I ask them this question: “What would you want to see change in your relationship for this process to be a success?” What Couples Want From Their Relationships They want: “to communicate better” “to have better intimacy” “to get back to where we were” “to… Read More »
5 ways to deal with difficult relatives
I was recently talking to a woman who dreads family gatherings. She says, “It’s my cousins and aunt. Nothing I do or say can escape criticism or comments.” They still judge and tease her as if she was a helpless 12 year old. She’s 26 now. She tells me how much she resents this side… Read More »