Have you been thinking “my husband is depressed” but aren’t sure what to do? I read a book 3 years ago that changed how I approached counseling. It’s called “I Don’t Want to Talk About It” by Terry Real. In the book, Terry writes about men and depression and the cycle of shame that comes… Read More »
Knowing when it’s time to quit your job
Hasn’t everyone had a fantasy of quitting a job they don’t like? Or making some kind of dramatic exit as they tell their boss what’s really on their minds? It’s not really like that. We can’t just quit our jobs at the spur of the moment. We can do that, but not without some consequence… Read More »
Why are relationship struggles so hard to change?
When couples come to their first session for couples counseling I ask them this question: “What would you want to see change in your relationship for this process to be a success?” What Couples Want From Their Relationships They want: “to communicate better” “to have better intimacy” “to get back to where we were” “to… Read More »
5 ways to deal with difficult relatives
I was recently talking to a woman who dreads family gatherings. She says, “It’s my cousins and aunt. Nothing I do or say can escape criticism or comments.” They still judge and tease her as if she was a helpless 12 year old. She’s 26 now. She tells me how much she resents this side… Read More »
Don’t believe everything you think! 5 self defeating beliefs to challenge
It’s easier now than ever to see what other people are doing in their lives. Just get onto Facebook, or another social media platform, like Instagram. Within seconds you’ll be hit with pictures and stories of people who seem to have what you don’t. The perfect job, relationship, and vacation. You’re force fed what seem… Read More »
How to say “no” to people (and be ok with it)
How often do we concede to doing something that we really don’t want to do? How often do we then turn around and resent the person for asking us for the favor? Or blame someone else for not having enough time and energy to get done what we need to? Whether it’s something for a… Read More »
5 ways that we self sabotage
Does it seem that you seldom get what you want? Does it seem that you come second to others or their needs? Why can’t you ever seem to get a break? Or why does it seem as if “nobody understands you”? We play a key role when we aren’t getting what we want or need,… Read More »
Your partner won’t change? Here’s what might be getting in the way.
Many of us have been in a relationship that eventually begs the question of “will my partner ever change?” “What is reasonable change to ask for them to do? Is this just “who they are?” “Should I wait for them to change or should we end this?” The answer looks like this: It’s very important… Read More »
Your partner can’t read your mind. 3 things to ask yourself.
Yeah, yeah. We all know that our partners can’t read our minds. But do we really get what that means? Are you frustrated that you can’t seem to get what you need? Are you not feeling understood by your partner? Ask yourself these things: Did you actually tell your partner what you want him/her to… Read More »
What some troubled marriages are lacking
The most often heard comment in my office a few weeks into couples counseling: “I honestly thought we would come into counseling and you’d tell us that HE was the one who needed most of the work! Now I can see where my own stuff is adding to the problems we are having.” It is… Read More »