Happy New Year, everybody.
Another year down and it’s that time of year that we start looking forward into what the new year can bring us. What can we do better? What changes can we make that will improve our lives? How can we become “brand new” people and overcome those long standing struggles?
My quick answer?
Don’t make a resolution this new year. They don’t work.
A rarely get scientific on here but here’s some quantifiable evidence that resolutions don’t work.
A 2007 study from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail,despite the fact that 52% of the study’s participants were confident of success at the beginning.
“The most common reason for participants failing their New Years’ Resolutions was setting themselves unrealistic goals (35%), while 33% didn’t keep track of their progress and a further 23% forgot about it. About one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.”
Why resolutions don’t work
The reason they don’t work is that we frequently pick areas of our life that we don’t really want change. Then we think that because the new year is upon us we will suddenly have the dedication to do these changes.
Sure, we can make a case that we SHOULD make these changes, but why?
We’re just tapping into the old SHOULD talk
“You should exercise more.”
“You should start a diet.”
“You should spend less time on your computer.”
“You should make time to paint the bathroom.” (this is real for me)
“You should get up earlier in the morning and be more productive.” (another real struggle for me)
Tuning into the “shoulds” coming from your self talk puts you into a position that what you’re currently doing is wrong. Fact is, you don’t HAVE to do anything different. You don’t HAVE to make any changes. The best part is that you aren’t any LESS of a person if you don’t.
Read my post on dealing with your “shoulds”.
So many of us will continue to make resolutions, fail, and then feel worse than we did last year. Constantly chasing something that we aren’t doing as if by attaining these changes we’ll somehow be better people.
Forget going the dogmatic route. It doesn’t work.
What if we did more “allowing” than “forcing”?
What does this mean?
Instead of focusing on forcing yourself to make a “change”, try allowing yourself to experience something you enjoy.
Instead of holding yourself to some unattainable new behavior that you’ll end up hating, what if you let yourself experience more of what you enjoy? Or maybe allow yourself to try something you’ve always wanted to try doing?
Allowing yourself to enjoy life will bring you more energy
You know that feeling you get when you go on vacation? The one where you feel rested, more energized, more connected with your family, with nature, with yourself? Yeah, you can get that all year round too.
When we are living a life that we enjoy, we naturally are going to experience more energy to do our everyday lives.
Of course, we can’t go on vacation all the time. And in reality, if we were on vacation all the time, we’d probably be bored eventually. But…we can allow ourselves to make time for the things we actually like to do such as…
- Spend more time with friends
- Spend more time talking about what you’re interested in with people that you’re interested in
- Do some research on how you’ll quit the job you hate
- Start a hobby that you’ve always wanted to try
- Reengage yourself with the things you used to love to do but don’t anymore
- Allow yourself to experiment with physical activities you actually like
If you allow yourself to be happier, you might just have more energy to do those things that you tend to struggle with. (Like getting up earlier in the morning)
It’s a win-win.
Drop the expectations and allow experimentation and experiencing
Here’s the best part of doing more allowing and less forced changes.
You don’t have to succeed in them!
Nobody cares if you don’t meet your goal because you don’t have a goal.
And…if you find yourself getting in the “same old rut”, you can always bring your conscious attention back into allowing yourself to do the things you want to do.
Change doesn’t have to be work
You already work hard enough. You’ve already are stressed out and have enough obligations to keep up with.
You don’t need another thing to keep track of.
What if 2016 was the year that you give yourself a break and allow yourself to engage more in what you enjoy?
And if it doesn’t work, you can always try that new paleo diet and fitness routine you’ve been putting off.
The possibilities are endless.
Allow yourself the space to experience what YOU want. Not what you think SHOULD be doing differently.
Happy New Year!
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